Having just been on holiday, I sat by the beach looking out on beautiful clear water and looking at my 2 greatest gifts and achievements; my 2 sons playing in the sea. It got me thinking what are the secrets of being happy? I suppose it all depends on you as a person as to what makes you really happy but I hope you find “My 7 secrets of happiness” a good starting point.

Firstly you need to be emotionally independent. What I mean by this is that you can’t expect another person to make you happy, give you happiness or even just allow you to be happy, as if you’ve got to ask their permission. You have to somehow create happiness within yourself and let nobody else touch it or take it away.

The 2nd secret of happiness is to address any ongoing health problems. Without your health then you can’t function. In some cases you need to recognise if something isn’t functioning well you need to do something about it to gain optimum health. Ask yourself these questions:

  1. How do you feel?
  2. Do you wake up in the morning feeling energised?
  3. How do you look, are you happy with your appearance?
  4. Could you do with losing a few pounds (or gaining some)?
  5. How fit are you?
  6. Look at your diet, look at your lifestyle; are you stressed? 


There may not be any signs now but be aware that things can slowly creep up on you – a twinge of a bad back or feeling a bit breathless can soon become something a lot worse. Take control of your health, after all:

Look after yourself


The 3rd secret of happiness is to get rid of negative emotions, which include having negative people around you! What I mean by negative emotions is envy, jealousy, bitterness to name but a few.

Easier said than done I know, but take a step back and have a look as to why you feel those emotions; Envy of what? The neighbour’s new car? The fact your best friend “appears to have a perfect relationship”?  Who do you know that always looks immaculate, appears to have it all?

Isn’t it far better to feel pleased and happy for the new neighbour that has got a new car, because they decided to get one, their choice, their goal? As for the friend that always looks immaculate and has a fabulous figure, well they have probably earned it or are lucky to have a great way of styling. Start to look at what you have and be grateful everyday for that. Surround yourself with positive people not mood hovers – like attracts like and if you are with like minded people who give off a good energy then you feel so much better than if people drain you like a battery. Look at the glass not as half empty or even half full, it is positively brimming!

The 4th secret of happiness is to hold onto your friends and that includes family, in fact anyone in your life that you deem as important. We all have busy lives and the greatest gift you can give someone is your time – whether that’s a phone call, text, letter, card or email. Communication now has never been so easy but there is nothing better than spending time with someone and speaking to them. We all get lost in busy lives and friendship is important. Friends are like stars, you don’t need to see them to know that they are but it is good to keep in touch. Tell someone they mean something to you too because we aren’t all physic and they don’t know unless you tell them.

The 5th secret of happiness is to do good deeds, do as many as you can and are able to do. You reap what you sow and you get it back tenfold. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures; sometimes the simplest things mean a lot and pass on great positive energy. Whilst I was on holiday I made a point of offering to take a photograph of someone – a family or a couple. A photo is a gift of a precious memory – takes less than a minute and means a lot to someone!

My 6th secret of happiness is probably a very simple one but it’s to see the beauty in small things – that’s not necessarily physically small, but little things. I love hearing my children laugh or watching them play. Thanking your husband for putting the washing out or emptying the dishwasher. Looking around and thanking for the amazing world that we live in, we are so lucky that we have water that comes out of a tap. We probably moan about rain but it’s a gift, we need it! The colours of the leaves on the tress when they turn in autumn. Enjoying a cup of coffee in peace and quiet or the feeling of sunshine on your face and the sand between your toes…….

Finally the 7th secret of happiness is to let go of the past. Yesterday is history, it shaped you to where you are today, and you can’t change anything that happened. Tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift which is why they call it the present and you can change the now – the choice of course is yours…..

I hope you enjoyed reading this! What are your secrets to happiness?